


This Burning In Your Heart

by Smokeycut



Category: X-Men
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-08
Updated: 2017-03-08
Packaged: 2018-10-01 07:48:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10184402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Smokeycut/pseuds/Smokeycut
Summary: Rachel has always struggled to find herself, but Kitty is here to help, and to listen.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first GreyPryde fic, and it's just something I threw together when I saw previews for X-Men Gold, but I figured I'd post it here. It's an underloved ship, and I plan on contributing to it more in the future.

Rachel stood in front of a glass case, staring at the spiked, red leather costume inside. She stared in silence, her mind blocked off and empty. She wanted to think of what this meant to her, how she felt about it, but no matter how deep she dug, she came up blank. She didn't know how to feel, and until she did, she wouldn't put it back on. Until that day, she would wear this new costume, use this new name. She would wear a cape. She'd never worn a cape before. It felt odd, she thought. Like a shred of a coat, just barely hanging on. A lot of heroes wear capes though, so she was certain she could adjust.

Her trance was broken by the touch of a particular short brunette. Just a hand on her shoulder, but it startled Rachel enough for her glamour to briefly falter. Just a split second though, and a scan of her friend's mind showed that Kitty didn't notice the stripes of a hound appear across her face.

"Oh, hey Kitty. What's up?" Rachel asked, praying that she wouldn't ask any questions.

"Nothing much. Admiring the trench coat, huh?"

"Er, sure. Just thinking about the old look vs the new one. What do you think?" Rachel didn't much care for people's opinions, and anyone would be hard pressed to remember a time she asked for one. She was always the sort to dress how she wanted, when she wanted, wherever she wanted. Nobody else would show up to a wedding in a spiked leather coat, or show up to parent-teacher night in a corset and leather miniskirt. It was something Kitty always admired about her friend.

"Hm... the leather is more your style than the spandex, I think. Why do you ask?" 

Rachel didn't respond, instead she just kept looking at the case, raising a hand to touch the glass. She knew Kitty. She was her best, closest friend in the world. Rachel knew she could trust her opinion, but this was more than just opinions. This was her past, and possibly her future. 

"This is what I wore back then. Where I came from. I've modified it to hell and back. The coat is new, and so are the gloves and boots, but under all that, it's still my hound uniform. It's what I wore when I hunted mutants down and told the sentinels where to find them." Tears began to well up in her eyes, and she shut them tight, fighting back the burning in her eyes and the heat rising up in her cheeks. Like opinions, Rachel didn't often bring up her past life. Kitty could tell something was wrong. She stepped in front of Rachel and touched her cheek softly with a yellow gloved hand. 

"Rachel... what's going on? Are you okay?" The concern in her voice broke through what little of Rachel's barrier she had left, and the taller woman broke down completely. She wrapped her arms around Kitty and held onto her tight, crying into her shoulder. Rachel opened her mind to Kitty, and only her.

_I'm sorry._

_Sorry? Rachel, you don't still hold that against yourself, do you?_

_How can I not? I'm responsible for so many deaths, Kitty. I can't even remember half of their names, or even their faces. Every time I see a student, another teacher, hell, any mutant at all, deep down I wonder... I wonder if I was responsible for them dying. I wonder, if it happened again, if I were somehow drugged again, would I be able to keep a hold over myself? Or would I do what they told me? What if I betrayed the students? Would I... would I give you up if they asked?_

Kitty hugged Rachel tighter and did her best to put her at ease. She didn't know what exactly to say, but she knew she had to try. This wasn't the conversation she expected to have when she came down to the subbasement, but it wasn't one she'd run away from.

_It's okay, Rachel. It's okay. You're not a hound anymore, okay? You're not what they made you. You're you, and nobody can ever take that away from you ever again. I trust you with my life, Rachel. We all do._

Rachel's sobbing slowed, then came to a stop. She was silent in voice and in mind, until she pulled away from Kitty. She looked her friend directly in the eye and sighed. Her glamour faded away once more, this time long enough for Kitty to see, and it didn't come back. Stripes across her cheeks and chin, leading in towards the center of her face. The marks of a hound.

"I'll always be what they made me," she whispered. Once again, Kitty caressed Rachel's cheek, but this time, Rachel leaned into it, allowing herself to smile slightly. "I'll always be a hound, Kitty. That's why I wore that costume. That's why I let people see my real face. I was trying to reclaim it, to make it my own. I thought it would help, and for a time, it did. But then..." Rachel's voice broke and faltered.

_But then you left. Then things fell apart. Everything became so wrong and horrible and I didn't know what to do. So I started hiding who I am again. I just wanted to be normal, you know? I've never been normal. But now things are starting to get better, and I'm just left wondering... Wondering who I'm supposed to be._

Rachel reached up and took Kitty's hand, holding it gently as it fell away from her face. Kitty squeezed Rachel's hand softly, a gentle attempt at reassurance before she responded.

_Be yourself, Rachel. No masks, no forced identities. Act naturally, do what you feel. Be Rachel, whoever that is underneath. No Phoenix, no Hound, no Marvel Girl, no Prestige. Just Rachel._

_What if who I am deep down isn't someone you like?_ Rachel reached across her chest and gripped her own bicep nervously, biting her lip.

"Rachel, I promise you, I'll love whoever it is, because she's my friend. You always will be." With that, Kitty smiled. Not just another reassurance, but a genuine grin. Rachel always thought that Kitty's smiles shined like the sun, and this one was just as bright as all the rest. Warming, welcoming, as if she was open entirely.

Rachel closed her eyes for a moment, and when they opened, her eyes were emboldened, and she lunged forward, stealing a kiss from her friend. She held Kitty by the shoulders and as soon as the brunette parted her lips, Rachel's tongue pushed it's way into her mouth. 

_This is me, Kitty. This is what I've always wanted. I tried to be with so many different men, always hoping I could just be a normal woman, but that's not normal for me. This is my normal, and this is what I've always wanted. You, Kitty. Always you._

_I know, Rachel. I think I've known for a long time, but I... I never knew what to say. I never knew if you were ready, or if I was ready. But now, I think we are. I think we can both be ourselves._

Kitty found herself searching for air as Rachel broke away, and found herself smiling when she saw the relief on the redhead's face. Dark red lips turned upwards into a smile, eyes crinkling with delight. Rachel, wearing her heart on her sleeve. Kitty pulled her close and kissed her back, and when they broke apart again, she looked over at the glass case, then back to Rachel. 

"So, is Prestige staying? Or is Rachel a leather and spikes kinda gal?"

"I'm not sure, not just yet anyways. But I'll take it one step at a time, until I do know. I won't hide who I am, not with my tattoos, and not with you," The confidence in Rachel's voice wasn't rock solid, but the determination was palpable, and that was enough for Kitty. 

"Alright then. Let's go be us." With that, she led Rachel by the hand, towards the elevator. They still had classes to teach that day, but afterwards they would have all the time they needed to do whatever they wanted.


End file.
